I am multitalented I can talk, annoy, and irritate you all at the same time!
I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep aren’t as white as they try to appear.
I fart, because it is the only gas I can afford!!
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me; so now I’m scared.
Dear dreams: Stop ending right when I get to the best part!!! #Minions #funny Click To Tweet
Dear dreams: Stop ending right when I get to the best part!!!
Women are like bacon. We look good. We smell good. We taste good. And we slowly kill you!
My cooking is so fabulous. Even the smoke alarm cheers me on!
Smart care, smart TVs, smart phones — When will they start making smart people?
When people rob banks, they go to jail. When bankers rob people, they get bonuses.
Be crazy. Be stupid. Be silly. Be weird. Life is too short to be anything but happy!