Funny Tweets You Can Use for Social Media Posts

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Here are a few tweets I’ve run across that are funny. You can use them to post to social media and attract people that might be interested in your topic.

When I was a kid, I made all my toys watch Toy Story so they knew I was on to them. — @JakeNotStFarm (aimed at kids and parents and movie lovers)

My horse will only come out of her stable after dark. She’s becoming a night mare. — #DadSaysJokes (parenting, animals)

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned. So, yea, I have self-control. — @MichizzleM (romance, relationships, cooking, food)

I made dinner reservations for my wife’s birthday and told the host there’s an extra $20 for the bartenders if they card her. — @Social_Mime (for romance, relationships, food, drinks, restaurants)

If The Lego Movie is about anything other than parents cursing after steping on Legos, it’s not based on a true story. — @AndyLassner (aimed at kids and parents and movie lovers)

Why did we lose 4 letters of the alphabet in the 1980s? Because E.T. went home and somebody shot J.R.! — @mt80san21114 (science fiction, E.T., movies, TV, crime, drama)

The Lion in the Wardrobe
The Lion in the Wardrobe

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