Chuck Norris Facts

Here are just a few facts about Chuck Norris, all verified by dozens of other websites, so you know they are reliable. Of course.

When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows until the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris uses a stunt double—for crying scenes.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Pizza Hut. He got it.

Chuck Norris sued NBC claiming that Law & Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought. The loser had to wear his underwear outside of his pants.

When the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on the shower. He stares at it until it starts to cry.

Chuck Norris was born on May 6th 1945. The Nazis surrendered on May 7th 1945. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t pushing himself up. He’s pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his living room. It’s not dead. It’s just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris once shot down a fighter plane with his finger just by yelling, “Bang!”

They wanted to put Chuck Norris’s face on Mount Rushmore but the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard.

Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried. Ever.

There are no steroids in baseball. Only players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris Facts . . .

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